There is no other way I can start this post but by thanking Charlie Brown. It is Oct. 11. Just around 2 1/2 months shy of Christmas and yet I am listening to “Christmas Time is Here” from the “Peanuts Christmas Special.” A bit preemptive I can admit, but there are times when I need the pick me up that only Christmas can provide. In fact I just finished designing a mixtape cover that I started on around the 4:30am (it’s 7:34am not) mark and I have been listening this song and the instrumental version since then. Of course I realize that it is not Christmas but I can’t help but to get into the mood of the season when I listen to this song.

The final stanza of the song justifies my listening to it this early in the year.

“Christmas time is here;
we’ll be drawing near;
oh that we
could always see
such spirit through the year”

Charlie covered all the bases.

What would it mean for us if we were to actually embody the spirit of Christmas throughout the year? Sure the “Peanuts” kids were only thinking of the upside of such a phenomena; the lights, the gifts, the snow, people being all around more pleasant. Just imagine leaving in this idealized utopia that is the child’s Christmas. A world where everyone is happy. Groups of people actually assemble themselves and sing carols. They sing carols with their sole purpose being to uplift others. I have only done this once. As a kid I remember singing carols with my church youth group. Of course I was too cool to actually sing and I was more focused on impressing my girlfriend of the time (who happened to be in the choir. Go fig), but I can remember people’s reaction. They were happy. The type of happiness that is only reserved for the Red and Green season. The type of happiness that one only thinks about under a mistletoe. The whole thing is so silly, and yet as I say that, I regret it because I too get very much engulfed in the Christmas spirit. Not so much the gifts. Not so much anything tangible actually, but just the idea of what it means. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas families try (or at least pretend to try) to become more close knit. Parent are more in tune with their kids wishes. Children are more concerned about upsetting their parents. This is the one time of year where you pray for rain because you know it signifies the possibility of snow. Hell, it’s the only time of year that I will wear a coat without being told to do so. Everyone is good during Christmas. Well almost everyone. At best there are two people to blame for any hardships and unpleasantness during this time of year: Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch. Not the Jim Carey versions of them either. I just blame them for shitty movies.

And while that idea appeals to the child in the me, the adult in me has learned to look at Christmas with a bit of a jaded eye. When I was a kid Christmas cost me nothing. My only job was to get there in one piece and mom would take care of the rest. I didn’t get much. I got enough. What I didn’t get my little brother did and we pretty much shared our toys so Christmas was usually good. Years ago when I thought of Christmas I would only remember the mornings. Waking and playing with new toys. Putting on new clothes and going to Grandma’s house to be around family, and I’ll admit, show off my new video games. Now that i am older I can remember a little more of the build up to the day. My mother would start our Christmas savings around Tax Return season (Christmas time for adults). So many times she would be so stressed about how she was going to afford all of what we wanted or how she was going to cover the debt it caused afterwards. I didn’t care about this then. Blame my ignorance but all I wanted was what I asked for and I didn’t care how it was done. Now, I wish I knew how it was done because Christmas is coming fast and I have a lot of loved ones that I would like to buy gifts for, and I am not exactly certain how I am going to manage that. I wish mom would tell me.

Which leads to my final thought. December 25^th 2009 will mark the first Christmas that I spend without my mom. While Mother’s Day was hard to get through and even my birthday, for some reason I know that Christmas will be the hardest of all. No one loved Christmas more than my mom and that is because no one loved Jesus more than she. She sang carols. She messed up the words and made up carols. She demanded we put up The Christmas tree even when we felt we had outgrown them. She woke and played Santa that morning, went to sunrise service to praise God and made it back in time to cook us breakfast and get us to Grandma’s house. I pray that she left some of that spirit here with me so that I can help to be a positive part of the Christmas season for my loved ones.

In: Mother | | #